day off

It's Tofu and my day off.. we slept in till 8:45. Were hanging out in the living room so he can get some exercise and stretch. Going to the sex shop to get pasties later this afternoon.

out on our own

Tofu and I are living in downtown san diego w Michael! The three of us are so happy! Happier than ever! We really do feel closer together. Am I bi polar or something.. @_@" we love living w master. It's everything I ever dreamed!!!!

moving day

Today I am officially moving. I'm waking up at 4:30 am to get weady and pack my car. I just started orientation at my new job on Thursday so I'm set for work. I leave for sd at 5:30. I also have a rave later at 6 pm. Yay I'm moving!!!!!

interview

just got back from an interview. I feel better than I did last night. I don't why I've been so down lately... It must be the move... sigh... It's our ten monthaversary today. Michael doesn't like monthaversarys .... sigh...

Last words of asami...

I thought you were very busy. I don't know your job so well. I might sound heavy. But l've been waiting for your call for a long time. I never expected that
we would meet again. Sorry to have been childish. It's a hassle living alone. I didn't have anybody to talk with. You are the first one to support me. Warmly wrapping me. And trying to understand me. It's hard to forget about. But someday you'll feel... ...that life is wonderful. That's life isn't it?

These were the last words of asami before she died. The audition was a wonderful japanese horror movie! I feel like asami and I can relate on many levels... like her abusive childhood and her loneliness. Like me, Asami looks innocent and harmless but is really sick and twisted. She believes in torture and pain again like me. No one really knows though how we are both damaged and imperfect.

tough...

Master is watching me blog and he called me a weirdo. My suspicions of him are true. He also called me chubby. Over and out.

TOO LONG!!!!

Hi everyone! It's been way too long since I've written to you. Things have been berry tough lately. I have been more abussive than ever to Master. I feel like he doesn't understand me at all. He says he loves me but I feel like he hasn't weally sat down and actually gotten to know me. I have so much hurt inside and it turns into anger. I don't trust michael at all. He says I'm way too insecure but what can you expect from a girl like me. I'm just a dungeon slave girl who's broken. I feel like damaged goods. Michael says he will go to therapy with me but I don't believe him. I feel like if I just let everything out in therapy with Michael there then maybe he will be more understanding of me. He just thinks I'm a crazy person... but i believe people are the way they are because of their past so therefore you should be more understanding. RIGHT? I guess not to Master... I've been trying so hard to be a normal school girl, but one I'm not in school.... which I want to finish nursing school but it's tougher than it seems. almost done... so close. oh yeah and I'm not normal. I have all these twisted thoughts in my head. Perverted thoughts. Like I constantly think about sex with master. I constantly think dirty thoughts about master doing things to me. It's all just fantasy. Whenever I tell him things he tells me to stop being a freak show and that I am so emo. sigh... I'm a weirdo and I hate it. I want to be normal and happy. Not weird and sad. My dungeon life is over but there are so many stories that I want to share with people. Michael doesn't want to hear my stories of the dungeon. But I feel like I need to let it out and I don't know what to do. I guess it's good for me to have this blog because its possibly a good outlet for weirdness. The dungeon weally broke me. Michael says I act so proud that I used to work at the dungeon but weally I just need someone to talk to about it. He's definitely not someone I can talk to... He always gets stressed out when I cry which is all the time. I feel like a problem to everyone. I feel like a problem to my dad, mom, and now michael. I wish I could just not be a problem. Everyone makes me feel bad about myself or atleast I let them make me feel bad. It must be the submissive in me. I am naturally a submissive girl... Sigh... All i really want is unconditional love. I am the kind of person that needs to be told I love you and showered with hugs and kisses... I don't get that at all at home. Nobody understands that. Everyone thinks I'm just complaining and a baby.

sold

My parents don't want me. So they are trying to pay my 34 year old boyfriend to take me. He doesn't want me either. He says he got ripped off. Nobody wants me. Now I'm stuck.

looking up

Things have been looking up the last two days in san diego. Master has been loving me so much its great! He has been making me his little slut and I love it! I was offered to do a session with famous domms. I didn't accept since I'm in san Diego I don't know if I will make it. I would have to be completely nude and he will be worshipping my ass. ew. I've never done that before the whole nude thing.

getting sad

Master has been neglecting me. It's making me sad and lonely. I really want friends in san Diego because he doesn't want to baby sit me. He wants to send me home. It makes me weally sad.

museums with master!

Tomorrow master says he will take me to the san Diego museums in balboa park! I can not wait! He never goes w me to the museums. Master came into the room the other night and used me for his own pleasure! It was so great! Afterwards he said good talk! I love my master! I've been in san Diego Almost a week. I'm having a great time!

master in his office

Master was different yesterday. I went to visit him while he is working in LA. He was being berry foward. He pulled out his friend while he was sitting in his computer chair. Then it became awkward when he put my hand on his friend. Then he left the room grabbed a pillow and told me get on the floor. Then he slowly pushed my face toward his friend and made me kiss it. I had pig tails in my hair so he used them as handles. He made me put my friend on it... Mew while being reverse cowgirl on his computer chair. Then master made me get on all fours while he did things while he was still in the chair. He makes me be his good little girl. We moved to the floor so he can do more. When he was finished with me he told me to take a shower. Master never does this. He must have weally missed me. I missed him too.

downtown la

Master Michael moved to downtown LA for the month. I just visited him today! I stole his underwear! I think they're dirty yay!!! Master doesn't like me being Lacey from passivearts. He wants me to stop talking about it. The dungeon submissive Lacey from passivearts studios is who I am. No one knows about my secret of me being a submissive. People will hate me for it and not understand my wild kinky side. It's been a long time I've sessioned.

bunny for baby!

I just figured out that I've been spelling masters name wrong. Kehe its Michael not micheal. I stalk master Michael and he thinks its adorable. I found lots of things of me Lacey from passivearts on the internet and its all tickle and or feet stuff! Thanks guys who write about how ticklish and cute my feet are. You guy clients say how cute I am and that makes me feel amazing and loved! Please play with me any time and find me! Master bought me a bunny and a Hutch for him! And everything a bunny needs to survive. After that we took a nap and he took my gf and I to get pho and a movie. Kehe. I just came home from the safe house at 6 30 am. We came home from masters house in san Diego at 11 30pm. I abused master and he liked it. He told dad on me and now I have to go back to therapy. I signed up for tagalog classes in san Diego. Master says I'm cute I want to learn my language.

need to feel loved

I know im such a needy slave.. but what can he expect. Master found me on Craigslist. He made me so sad when he said he was just browsing for asians to hook up w. It makes me feel not so special. We made love last night:> it was wonderful. I'm a good girl but when were making love I love to be naughty. It makes me sad how I'm always hungy. I never eat around because he makes me feel fat. I've been here Almost a week and I haven't eaten a normal meal. He is always criticizing me and hurting my feelings. I wish I could eat. I'm starving and I'm so sad.

master makes me sad

I know I have insecurities but master makes them come out way more. I weigh 114 lbs. I'm 5 ft 3in. He tells me to work out all the time and how much better I would look if I did this and this workout. He talks about other girls being hot and it breaks my heart. I never say or do anything of the sort to him. I'm so dedicated to my master. When guys come up to me at the gym I always think my master is way more sexier and buffer and more beautiful. My heart aches. I watched him stare at another girl dancing while I'm in the background so sad..

cleaning day

Master went to work. He's been so stressed lately. It makes me feel like I'm the one causing the problems. Today I will clean masters room.:> hopefully it will make him happy.

anal beads

Master and I hit our five month Anniversary march 16! It will soon be six months then a year then forever! We have our UPS n our downs. Yesterday was one of our downs. I wanted to leave him and get on a train back to oc. We worked things out. I really need to get passed my insecurities but I really don't know how. My sex addiction is not as much as a problem anymore. Sex has been better lately. It's more passionate which I'm loving. I don't want to seem blind but I think we are really falling for eachother. Last week master put four anal beads in up my bottom! I loved every bead of it! Then he cleaned it off and put the beads in my kitty kat down there! Yesterday we had sexies twice and both times it ended in anal. Yay! Sunday when we had sexies at my parents house we were on exstacy! It was so sensual and tingly. It was amazing. I love making love with my master.. sigh...<3

on my way

.. to Masters on a train to san diego. Things are perfect! He loves me so much. I fantasized that we were playing naughty spanking games. :>

master missies mes!!!

Master wants me to take a train tuesday... i love master. I want to rub my face all over his body...

lonely..

Master and I are always together but I'm still so lonely. Master doesn't take me seriously when I ask for a beating or to be tortured. Master says I'm too much to handle. It's hard to keep these urges under control. Master says I'm needy and way to demanding. I slave away at his house but all I ask for is a punishment. When I act up and be naughty no punishment. When I'm a good little princess no reward:< theres no winning here. Beat me until my bottom is red hot.

caged bunny

I'm always stuck at masters house. He never let's me go outside. When he does let me out he follows me in his car... caged bunny.

new toys

I bought new toys for master to use on me. I have a new pink heart crop and a pink mini flogger. Whoo hoo... master weally likes using the crop on me. He has been weally great in bedsies lately! He's been weally trying to keep me. I've tried breaking up with master but he just says no.