TOO LONG!!!!

Hi everyone! It's been way too long since I've written to you. Things have been berry tough lately. I have been more abussive than ever to Master. I feel like he doesn't understand me at all. He says he loves me but I feel like he hasn't weally sat down and actually gotten to know me. I have so much hurt inside and it turns into anger. I don't trust michael at all. He says I'm way too insecure but what can you expect from a girl like me. I'm just a dungeon slave girl who's broken. I feel like damaged goods. Michael says he will go to therapy with me but I don't believe him. I feel like if I just let everything out in therapy with Michael there then maybe he will be more understanding of me. He just thinks I'm a crazy person... but i believe people are the way they are because of their past so therefore you should be more understanding. RIGHT? I guess not to Master... I've been trying so hard to be a normal school girl, but one I'm not in school.... which I want to finish nursing school but it's tougher than it seems. almost done... so close. oh yeah and I'm not normal. I have all these twisted thoughts in my head. Perverted thoughts. Like I constantly think about sex with master. I constantly think dirty thoughts about master doing things to me. It's all just fantasy. Whenever I tell him things he tells me to stop being a freak show and that I am so emo. sigh... I'm a weirdo and I hate it. I want to be normal and happy. Not weird and sad. My dungeon life is over but there are so many stories that I want to share with people. Michael doesn't want to hear my stories of the dungeon. But I feel like I need to let it out and I don't know what to do. I guess it's good for me to have this blog because its possibly a good outlet for weirdness. The dungeon weally broke me. Michael says I act so proud that I used to work at the dungeon but weally I just need someone to talk to about it. He's definitely not someone I can talk to... He always gets stressed out when I cry which is all the time. I feel like a problem to everyone. I feel like a problem to my dad, mom, and now michael. I wish I could just not be a problem. Everyone makes me feel bad about myself or atleast I let them make me feel bad. It must be the submissive in me. I am naturally a submissive girl... Sigh... All i really want is unconditional love. I am the kind of person that needs to be told I love you and showered with hugs and kisses... I don't get that at all at home. Nobody understands that. Everyone thinks I'm just complaining and a baby.